It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
