Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
