Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
