Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
