Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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