We're like a lot better than the average bears
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
