ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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