Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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