I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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