This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
