cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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