so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
