He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
