He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she looked like the before picture.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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