i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
