Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
