drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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