I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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