In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
