His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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