Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
