Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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