so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I have fence marks all over my body
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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