I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
