I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
