Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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