I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
