so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
