He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
third nipple confirmed
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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