I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
