Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
