What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I wear drunk well.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
