My brain says no but my pants say off.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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