I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
not ubering you a puppy
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize