hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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