I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
