So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize