This girl is more easily done than said...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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