But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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