South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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