I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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