life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
