no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
