the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i love accidental penises.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize