After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
