I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
