What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
