Ketchup is God's man juice
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
