I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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