so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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