By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sorry my hands just texted you
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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