Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
