you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
