You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
