She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
