I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
