VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
