That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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