dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
